Showing posts with label grief-parent-cancer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grief-parent-cancer. Show all posts

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Children and Grief


Children's Page - Did someone you love die? Or, did someone you love have to go away?

There are many feelings when someone dies or leaves.  These big feelings are called "grief".  Here are some feelings of grief that you may have.  Other children say they feel this way, too. 

Here are some faces that show some of these feelings.  Which one is most like how you feel today?

Simple Faces Showing Moods

THINGS TO DO WHEN BIG FEELINGS ARE IN YOUR HEART

 

RUN OR JOG
JUMP UP AND DOWN 
TALK TO SOMEONE
THROW SOMETHING SOFT 
PLAY BALL
SCREAM INTO A PILLOW
PUNCH A PILLOW 
MAKE A PICTURE
WRITE A STORY
CRY 
 
SING

          

Here are some grief feelings. Do you feel them?

VERY SAD       ANGRY         MAD           SLEEPY      HUNGRY       SILLY         

FORGETFUL       BAD DREAMS        STOMACHACHES        HEADACHES

SCARED      LONELY      CAN'T SLEEP        NOT HUNGRY      HAPPY

WORRIED

ACTIVITIES FOR GRIEF

Click on each of these and print out the pages.

 

ART

 

 

WRITING

 


Saturday, March 7, 2009

Most Recent Update from PapAmore's Care Page

OUR FAMILY..

Posted 22 hours ago

We ask for prayers for Odee's daughter Denises' husband Ray...and their family.

Ray's Dad...John Vander Wal entered his heavenly home...yesterday.

Our hearts continue to break as another much loved family..must say good bye to another Dad and Grandpa...

We pray they will feel our love ..and the love of our Heavenly Father

(by Wanda Lenderink, wife of PapAmore' and my Mom)


Online Six Week Personal Healing Study for the Grieving

Help for the Journey

A six-week personal study for your journey from mourning to joy

This is a special part of this website that will guide you to sections of the Bible that are relevant to the emotions, worries and questions you are dealing with right now. We like to think of the Bible as the “owner’s manual” for life. It’s a place where you can get real-world answers for real-world problems, including the death of someone special.

We’ve prepared six weeks of material that can make a significant contribution to your healing process.

Make time each week to explore the material in this personal study section. You’ll find it can become a time to grow closer to God and find His help for the things going on in your life (no matter how difficult or painful!). The study is separated into six weeks, with five days of Scripture reflections, questions and life applications. You might want to highlight or underline verses that are especially meaningful to you. This can help you find those verses again quickly.

Ask for Help

A good way to begin your personal study time each day is with a simple prayer asking God to show you what He would like you to see during your study that day (can you imagine Him not answering that prayer?). You don’t have to use fancy words, just talk to God and ask for His help in understanding what you read.

Six-Week Study

All material © MCMXCIX, MMVI by Church Initiative. Permission granted to print a single copy for personal use. All other forms of duplication or distribution, including digital, electronic, mechanical and print, require the written consent of GriefShare.

Related links for coping with grief and loss


General information about grief and loss

The Grieving Process – Provides helpful handouts on the grieving process, including the stages of grief, how to take care of yourself, and the different ways people react to loss. (Hospice of the North Shore)

Life after Loss: Dealing with Grief – Guide to coping with grief and loss, including normal grief reactions to expect. (University of Texas Counseling and Mental Health Center)

Grief Support – Provides insights into grieving and the grief process. A companion page contains detailed information about children’s grief. (Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement)

Death and Grief – Article for teens on how to cope with grief and loss. Includes tips for dealing with the pain and taking care of yourself during the grieving process. (Nemours Foundation)

Death of a loved one

Grief: Coping With Reminders After a Loss – Tips for coping with the grief that can resurface even years after you’ve lost a loved one. (Mayo Clinic)

Healing Steps – Advice on how to heal after the death of a loved one, including the rituals that can help and things you can do to keep memories alive. (California Home Care & Hospice, Inc.)

On Being Alone: A Guide for the Newly Widowed and Seven Choices of Grief – A comprehensive series of articles on grief and loss offering practical, as well as psychological advice. (AARP)Support for grief and loss

GriefNet.org – Online support community for people dealing with grief, death, and major loss, with over fifty monitored support groups for both kids and adults.

Compassionate Friends - National, self-help organization for those grieving the loss of a child. Includes a Chapter Locator and supportive online brochures on various aspects of grief.

Stages of grief

The Kübler-Ross grief cycle – Details each stage as it applies to persons facing death or other negative life change. Note that the cycle as presented includes seven stages, including initial shock. (ChangingMinds.org)

What is Grief? – Lays out general stages of grief with tips for helping someone who is grieving. (University of Illinois Counseling Center)

Complicated grief and depression

Major Depression and Complicated Grief – Lists the warning signs and symptoms that suggest grief has progressed to major depression or complicated grief. (American Cancer Society)

Complicated Grief – Guide to the symptoms, causes, risk factors, and treatment of complicated grief. (Mayo Clinic)

Complicated Grief – Learn the difference between the normal grief reaction and complicated grief. Includes information about symptoms, risk factors, and treatment. (Harvard Medical School Family Health Guide)

Grief after suicide 

Grief after Suicide - Survivors of suicide and their friends can help each other and themselves by gaining an understanding of grief after suicide. (Canadian Mental Health Association)

Grief after Suicide Understanding your emotions, as well as suicide in general, may ease your grieving after suicide. (Buddha Dharma Education Association) 

Melinda Smith, M.A., Ellen Jaffe–Gill, M.A., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., contributed to this article. Last modified: January 2009.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Talking with your doctor about your end-of-life wishes

The miserable have no other medicine; But only hope. --William Shakespeare

How to Talk with Your Healthcare Providers

  • Ask your doctor to explain treatments and procedures that may seem confusing before you complete your directives.
  • Talk about pain management options.
  • Let your doctor know that you are completing your advance directives.
  • Make sure your doctor is willing to follow your directives. The law does not force physicians to follow directives if they disagree with your wishes for moral or ethical reasons.
  • What will you do if I have a lot of pain or other uncomfortable symptoms?
  • How will you help us find excellent professionals with special training when we need them
  • Will you let me know if treatment stops working so that my family and I can make appropriate decisions?
  • Will you still be available to me even when I am close to the end of my life?

Advocating for your loved one

  • Be assertive in expressing your wishes. 
  • Clearly state the reasons behind your requests without being hostile.
  • Ask questions. To be effective and to make informed decisions, learn as much as possible about your loved one's condition and prognosis.
  • Ask about the goals of the treatment plan - often. A physician's definition of recovery can be different from what is acceptable to you or your loved one. Seek the assistance of a social worker or patient representative if necessary. Such professionals can help improve communication between you and the physician.
  • Don't be afraid to speak to the facility's administration. If the physician is unresponsive, go directly to his or her superiors, including the chief of medicine, risk manager, hospital lawyer or administrator. 

Cancer Patients, Lost in a Maze of Uneven Care

Cancer Patients, Lost in a Maze of Uneven Care

Todd Heisler/The New York Times

Karen Pasqualetto was only 35 and a new mother when a doctor diagnosed advanced colon cancer and gave her six months to live.


Published: July 29, 2007

Correction Appended

The first doctor gave her six months to live. The second and third said chemotherapy would buy more time, but surgery would not. A fourth offered to operate.


FULL ARTICLE FOUND HERE

Cancer Bereavement/Grief Support Resources


Local Bereavement/Grief Resource
Alive Hospice 
www.alivehospice.org

National Bereavement/Grief Resources
The American Cancer Society has many resources about coping with loss, the phases of grief, losing a child, coping with depression, etc. For more information:
Telephone: 1–800–ACS–2345
Internet Address: 
www.cancer.org/docroot/MBC/MBC_4x_CopingGrief.asp

National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization
Telephone: 1–800–658–8898 (End-of-Life Consumer Helpline)
Internet Address: 
www.nhpco.org

National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA) 
Telephone: 1–800–228–6332 
Internet Address: 
www.nfda.org

Hospice Net 
Internet Address: 
www.hospicenet.org

Griefnet 
Internet Address: 
www.griefnet.org

Parents Without Partners International, Inc. 
Telephone: 1–312–644–6610 
Internet Address: 
www.parentswithoutpartners.org

Candlelighters Childhood Cancer Foundation 
Telephone: 1–800–366–2223 
Internet Address: 
www.candlelighters.org

The Compassionate Friends 
Telephone: 1–877–969–0010 
Internet Address: 
www.compassionatefriends.org

CANCERCARE'S TELEPHONE EDUCATION WORKSHOP CALENDAR


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Thursday, March 5, 2009

Clinical Trials: Questions and Answers


Clinical Trials: Questions and Answers

Key Points
  • Clinical trials are research studies that test how well new medical approaches work in people (see Question 1).
  • Every clinical trial has a protocol, which describes what will be done in the study, how it will be conducted, and why each part of the study is necessary (see Question 4).
  • Informed consent is a process by which people learn the important facts about a clinical trial to help them decide whether to participate (see Question 6).
  • Payment of patient care costs in clinical trials varies by health insurance plan and by study (seeQuestion 11).
  1. What are clinical trials, and why are they important?
  2. Clinical trials are research studies that test how well new medical approaches work in people. Each study answers scientific questions and tries to find better ways to prevent, screen for, diagnose, or treat a disease. People who take part in cancer clinical trials have an opportunity to contribute to knowledge of, and progress against, cancer. They also receive up-to-date care from experts.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Elzo "Al" Gerlofs, May You Eternally Rest in Peace

...photo above is of Mark Gerlofs...

My brother-in-law's Dad died today...he had cancer...he passed away in his sleep at the hospital. 

All of Al Gerlofs loved ones are assured of his presence in glory, he gets to be by my Dad now too...I wish there would have been a way for him to take a note to him for me.  I don't understand why God didn't give Al that miracle "leftover" from my Dad, the one we never got to see nor use.

Losing both Fathers, both Papas in less than two months...that's unbearable.  Where is their haven?  Where is their shelter from the storm?  Why isn't God saving us?  Why did he take Papa Al now too?

Please remember the Gerlofs family in your most fervent thoughts and prayers...