Grief ends when we let go of the tail

When Does Grief End?

Grief hits us like a ton of bricks,
flattens us like a steamroller,
hurls us into the depths of despair. 
We know in a flash when grief hits,
but when does it end? 
Like the month of March,
grief rushes in like a lion
and tiptoes out like a lamb. 
Sometimes, we don't know when grief leaves,
because we won't let go of the lion's tail.
Why do we hold on so long? 
Grief offers us safety,
protection from the world. 
We don't want to let go
because we secretly fear
that we'll forget our loved ones,
and we don't want to forget – ever. 
We don't want to let go
because we fear the future
and having to face life without our loved ones.
We don't want to let go
because we make the mistake
of measuring our grief with the depth of our love –
when neither has anything to do with the other.
How do we know when grief has run its course? 
How do we know when we've grieved enough? 
Cried enough? 
"Died" enough? 
How do we know when it's time to let go of the tail? 
We know when we feel joy again, in something or someone. 
Joy in living.  Joy in life. 
We know when we wake up in the morning
and our first thought is on something other than our loss. 
We know when we look ahead with a smile
and back with fond memories,
and when we no longer dread the nights. 
We know when our life starts filling up with new interests and people,
and we start reaching for the stars
Grief ends when we let go of the tail.

Margareet Brownley,
"When Does Grief End?"
Bereavement Magazine , January/February 2002
Reprinted with permission from Bereavement Publishing, Inc. (888-604-4673)
  

For PapAmore', Arend 'Odee' Lenderink