Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Christmas is a Bittersweet Time for the Bereaved

For PapAmore', Arend 'Odee' Lenderink

Tune in to hear me (Sara Huizenga of Peace4 the Missing) on "Cope With Hope" Getting Through the Holidays Special Radio Series

My (Sara Huizenga) appearance on Susan Murphy Milano's radio show ... please tune in if you're able!!! xoxo
"Cope With Hope" Getting Through the Holidays: Special Radio Series With Susan Murphy Milano
How often do we wake up in December and wish we could pull the covers back over our heads and skip right over the holiday season?

For whatever the reasons, many of us have a difficult time getting into the spirit of joy, and the holidays seem to make it worse.

During the hiatus of Susan's show on Here Women Talk, from December 20 to December 30, she will be doing a one hour show each morning (Mon-Thurs) at 10am ET on BlogTalk Radio, to give those who need a boost for the day, something to help you through it, even if only a brief hour.

See the schedule below for the lineup of wonderful guests! 


Day/Date Scheduled



Anne Peterson
Donna Tyson

Inspirational Writer
Radio Host: Rivers of Faith


Gaetane Borders
Sara Huizenga

President, Peas In Their Pods
Founder, Peace4 the Missing


Neil Schori

Pastor, Naperville Christian Church


Gayle Crabtree
Cherry Simpson

Founder, Hope For Healing.Org
Victims Advocate and Activist, Nana


Sandra L. Brown, M.A.

CEO The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction


Jillian Maas Backman

Intuitive Life Coach, Author, Radio Host


Vicki Childs
Anny Jacoby

Private Investigator
Personal Safety Coach


Janet Hosmer, Phd
Pamela Chapman

Certified Health Coach
Founder, iAscend Programs, Life Coach

For PapAmore', Arend 'Odee' Lenderink

Outrageously Loved

For PapAmore', Arend 'Odee' Lenderink

Thursday, December 9, 2010

She's really hurting ...

And you're not really here ...

"Universal Child" by Annie Lennox

How many mountains must you face before you learn to climb.
I'm gonna give you what it takes, my universal child.

I'm gonna try to find a way to keep you safe from harm.
I'm gonna be a special place, a shelter from the storm.
And I can see you, your everywhere, your portrait fills the sky.
I'm gonna wrap my arms around you, my universal child.

And when I look into your eyes, so innocent and pure.
I see the shadow of the things that you've had to endure.
I see the tracks of every tear that ran ran down your face.
I see the hurt, I see the pain, I see the human race.
I can feel you, your everywhere, shining like the sun.
And I wished to god that kids like you could be like everyone.

How many tumbles must it take before you learn to fly.
I'm going to help you spread your wings, my universal child.

I can feel you everywhere shining like the sun.
And I wished to god that kids like you could be like everyone.
And I wished to god that kids like you could be like everyone.

For PapAmore', Arend 'Odee' Lenderink

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Papa, Mimi and Great

I so adore the proud of smile on Papa here as he held and helped my Maggie bend down to give her much loved and missed Great a kiss ...

And never in a billion eons could I have realized that soon, within less than four months apart time span ... we'd be losing both Papa and Great to Heaven.

If it were possible to propel oneself into the moment and place of a photo ... I'd be in this one
It's been said so often, but because it's so worth repeating, I'll say it here again ... cherish the ones you love while they're still here with you to cherish ...

Only one of the three in this photo are still here today ... oh my little Maggie ... you were so loved by your Papa and Great ... and you are so loved by us still here today.

Forever and always, plus a year, times a google, more ... xoxoxo

For PapAmore', Arend 'Odee' Lenderink

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Grief Self Portrait

I've found some sense of self awareness by trying to imagine a visual picture of what my grief looks like to me ...

Perhaps because I'm more visual of a thinker ... however, regardless of your own personal "thinking style" ... it might (probably would) be worth it for you too to "paint a picture"within your mind of what the feelings of grief that have accompanied your loss looks like.

Or maybe not, I'm still to this day trying to make some kind of sense out of this whole "mourning" thing and although I suppose it will always be a part of me - to try to somewhat figure it out - until THAT day ... undoubtedly I never truly will ...

But for what it's worth ... here's my attempt at a "grief self portrait" ...

Aimless and Alone in My Grief's House of Mirrors
My grief has often felt (and looked) like an aimless attempt to self-navigate my way through the most difficult house of mirrors ... during the dark of night ... completely alone.  As each step forward seems to bring me farther away from finding my way out and back home.  Sorrow has forced myself to become continuously confronted by a lost, isolated and hollow self-image staring back at me.  Grieving is hard and the steps I take through my walk of grief sometimes bring with them extreme moments of panic ... as I fear that I'll never be able to get out at all, ever.  Because ... during the darkest moments of sorrow ... it's just me, being forced to really look at me.  And the fear I see in my own eyes terrifies my very own soul.  Yet I go on because I have no other choice than to continue on my aimless search for the Exit from My Grief's House of Mirrors.  Stupidly refusing to take God's Hand that is reaching for and waiting to pull me out ... instantly.

Grief Is Like…

By Pat Schwiebert, R.N.

One of the difficulties bereaved persons face is how to explain to us how they FEEL when they are grieving. What does it FEEL like to be in the skin of a bereaved person? Is it similar to other experiences in our life? Is there a way we can relate on some level to the pain of grieving persons when we are not grieving ourselves.

Most people can’t allow themselves to go to the place where they could actually see themselves in the dark hole of grief. We don’t want to believe it would be that bad for us, that we have the inner resources to minimize grief’s hold on us, unlike our grieving friends. But if we can just connect their feelings with some feelings that we have experienced ourselves, then maybe, just maybe, we can begin to comprehend the impact of grief on a person’s life. Then, after you connect with any of these feelings you need to remember to multiply your own feeling times x100 to get closer to the bereaved person’s experience.

Here are some feelings that I’ve experienced while grieving or that I’ve heard other bereaved persons describe.

Grief is like wearing a very tight fitting pair of shoes that you cannot take off. Just as you can think of nothing else but your hurting feet because of these shoes, so also in your grief you can think of nothing else but your loss. You cannot get away from it. It is your main focus of attention. And your whole body begins to hurt too. Your face will also reflect the pain you are feeling. Grieving is a whole body experience.

Grief is like being in a bubble. You are no longer a part of the world around you. Everything sounds muffled. You hear conversations, but it’s like the words have no meaning. Nobody can reach you. There is an uncomfortable distance that has been created between you and those who don’t understand grief.

Grief is like looking through a one-way window. You can see others, but they can’t see you. You feel invisible to others. It’s hard to understand how the world can go on when your life has stopped.

Grief is like having a heavy weight on your chest. You have trouble breathing. Sometimes your body takes deep sighing breaths in an attempt to get more oxygen. Sometimes you have anxiety attacks. And your heart actually aches. The location of your grief spot is right under your sternum close to your heart. It’s no wonder that your chest hurts.

Grief is like wearing a heavy coat with all of the pockets full of rocks.
The grief literally weighs you down and slows you down. Grief is not only emotionally exhausting, but physically exhausting also. Because the warm glow of life is not pulsing through your body you may find it hard to keep warm. After awhile that heavy coat of grief will begin to feel comfortable and you may decide you don’t want to take it off.

Grief is like being a traveler on a high-jacked plane. It is as if you have been taken to a foreign land where you do not know the language or the culture. Soon you learn you can never return to the world as you knew it. Grief can be pretty scary. You do not want to be there. You probably don’t know how to grieve and you may not know what is expected of you. When you try to speak to your friends, they may not understand you. Your friends know you have “gone away” for a while, but they assume you will return and be the same old you they once knew. But then you begin to realize you will never return to that place again and that others may never know or understand this.

Grief is like the stages of love: first falling in love and being totally preoccupied by your new love, then becoming comfortable as you begin to trust that your love will always be with you. In grief, as when you first fall in love, your heart longs to be with the person who’s died. Your desire to touch him or her is overwhelming. Most other parts of your life seem unimportant in comparison. Then slowly, normal life begins to creep back in and you find that your grief no longer demands the high maintenance that it first required. You will have created a special space in your heart where you can carry this departed loved one with you at all times, even as you go about other things.

Death ends a lifetime, but not a relationship.

I welcome hearing other ways you relate to how your grief feels.

For PapAmore'

Fixing a broken heart is not a DIY job

Healing a Broken Heart – Is there hope?

Is there hope for healing a broken heart? Something or someone has just broken your heart. You were caught off-guard by a betrayal, a shocking behavior, or loss of a loved one. Suddenly you are feeling like you’ve lost all hope . . . you can feel a physical aching in your chest that leaves you wounded and scarred. How can you ever hope to recover or discover what steps will end this suffering?

We all know that emotions are a vital part of the way we are made. Yet we can’t understand why it takes so long to heal from emotional injuries. We would never prematurely remove a cast or sutures until the broken bone or skin was fully restored. We must realize complete emotional healing requires time. The book of Psalms offers great comfort when experiencing long-term emotions like sadness, fear, and grief. 

“He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3).

Are some circumstances beyond healing? What about these situations:

  • In the beginning, Dawn and Leo’s marriage seemed so secure. Then alcohol and Leo’s advances towards his sister-in-law, Lori, resulted in a bitter divorce.
  • Louise wept uncontrollably as her daughter recounted her molestation as a child.
  • After Dave and Yvonne’s second miscarriage, they severed all relationships that reminded them of their two lost sons.

Healing a Broken Heart – The key is trust
Our human tendency is to avoid painful situations, even burying them. Can we ever trust those who hurt us so deeply? There are steps to healing a broken heart.

  • Release – “. . . First forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against . . .” (Mark 11:25). Lori chose to let go of past hurts. Years later her nephew (Dawn and Leo’s son) was married. Lori recalls, “My bad experience had driven a wedge between two families. Miraculously, when I forgave Leo, the wedding brought everyone together and healthy relationships were created.”

  • Refocus – “. . . By [God’s] mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope” (Ephesians 3:20). Initially, Louise punished herself for not being more protective. She tried to keep her broken heart hidden from everyone. She shares, “Guilt and shame clouded my perspective. As our daughter and I openly discussed the incident, we helped other victims and now readily see positive results in their lives.”

  • Receive – “[God] comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us” (2 Corinthians 1:4). Last year, Yvonne gave birth to a handsome baby boy. “We may never understand the reason we had to endure such heartbreak. Gradually, the emptiness is now being filled with Daniel’s toddler antics.” David and Yvonne will receive their nursing degrees this year. “We want to help others through hard times.”

Healing a Broken Heart – There is a reason
Once there was a young man who proclaimed to have the most beautiful, flawless heart. An old man challenged him. The crowd looked at the old man’s heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars. Some pieces had been removed and others had been put in, but didn’t fit quite right. The old man looked at the young man, “I would never trade my heart for yours. Every scar represents a person I’ve given my love -- I tear out a piece and give it to them. Sometimes they give me a piece of their broken heart, which I fit along jagged edges. When the person doesn’t return my love, a painful gouge is left. Those gouges stay open, reminding me that I love these people too. Perhaps someday they will return and fill that space.”

We would never choose to have a broken heart! The agony and recovery time is just too unbearable. 

There is Someone, however, who had a flawless heart and chose to have it broken. Medically when a heart ruptures (breaks) water gushes out (John 19:33-34). In every way, Jesus experienced a broken heart. He understands betrayal, temptation, and loss (Isaiah 53:3; Luke 22:33-34; Matthew 14:10-13). 

He is our Comforter, Counselor, and Companion who fills our heart’s empty spaces.


Thursday, November 4, 2010

Crap, it's my birthday

I hate my birthday now, Papa!

It's true!

Ever since you left, my birthdays have become total and complete crap!

And I am sorry, and I KNOW you would be really, really upset with me for this selfish, pity-filled, current stance and negative mindset of mine ...

So ... I'm going to try harder ... and I am!

And I will ...

But honestly, Papa ... it is just so hard ... because on this day most of all ... I most of all just miss you.

For PapAmore', Arend 'Odee' Lenderink

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

He "left" the way he lived ... answering His call

This is actually Part II of an earlier post in which I first shared the meaning behind my utmost incredible love for the song "I will rise" by Chris Tomlin.

My repost is due to an even since deeper personal resonance to its lyrics ... in fact, I think I've really figured out some just why it is that this song has been so life impacting to me ... it's directly because of ......... the way in which my Dad lived his.

I suppose I can even say (as much as I'll ever 'here on earth' be able to) that I can even somewhat understand why he had to "leave" us ... which is all because - God spoke and Papamore answered.

Thus, He "left" the way he lived ... answering His call ...

I especially love this part ...
And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"

I believe that is referring to how Papa must have simultaneously heard angel's singing his invitation song while also hearing the longing cries from our hearts begging him not to leave us ... 

But ... in the end, God won ... as He should have and as He always should ... because the bottom line is ... Worthy is the Lamb.  

Christ's death upon the cross has to hold our lives greatest meaning and greatest purpose ... which is to join Him for all of eternity ... in glory.

And soon we too will have no more sorrow, no more pain ... THAT is the silver lining of our grief ... THAT is the immeasurable Hope in our sorrow.

Hope is still there ... He has never left us ... He is still here ...

I Will Rise by Chris Tomlin
There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

For PapAmore', Arend 'Odee' Lenderink

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Oh yeah? Well, MY Papa is NEIGHBORS with GOD!!!

"Papa's Lil Pizon"
You can't beat that connection, right??!!!  :)

Out of the mouths of babes, right Papa?

You had her pegged from the start ... she truly is one little piece of work.

So as you know, our little Maggie started preschool this year at Grand Haven Christian.  And no surprise here ... she absolutely, unequivocally - LOVES it!

One of her favorite parts of the school day are the Bible lessons.  Of which, without a doubt, brings you much joy to see your little granddaughter's passion for learning everything there is know about His Word.

To be honest, she actually thinks of herself as pretty much THE Bible expert of her entire class (teachers included) ...

And I found out exactly why that is a couple of weeks ago during Maggie's car ride home from school ....

Maggie:  "I do listen very carefully and NEVER EVER have to sit in the turtle chair for being too noisy during God's Word ... BUT! ...  I don't REALLY need to learn more about God and His Book like the others friends in my school do."

Me:  "You don't, huh?  ....... Um ... exactly why is that?"

Maggie:  "Oh you know why, Mama!  It's cuz My Papa is NEIGHBORS with GOD!!"

Me:  "Uh, yeahhh... Yea!  He is, isn't he!"

Maggie:  "Uh huh,  that' why Papa's so VERY important and famous, Mama ... so if I ever don't know something 'bout God, I can just ask Papa to ask his neighbor ... since He lives right next door to Papa's house in heaven ... *pause* ... kinda like Sydney lives next door to me."

Me:  "That's really really cool, Maggs ... you are quite the blessed Pizon to have a Papa who's God's neighbor, huh?"

Maggie:  "Yup ........ Mama, can we paint when we get home?"

*smile* :)

For PapAmore', Arend 'Odee' Lenderink

Friday, October 29, 2010

"The" Song You Sang From Heaven

Whenever we have sung this song in church, (which we have, but not too often) since you went to Heaven ... you were right there too ... singing it right alongside of us, weren't you, Papa?

You were here again ... not in a dream ... not in a memory ... but here.

And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And although those have been the only times I've actually been able to truly feel and sense your physical presence since you've been gone ... I will not complain, but rather take anything that we might get.  :)

During these 'straight from heaven itself' times, I have distinctly heard your strong tenor voice, I have sensed YOU standing right next to me with all of my acute senses ... I have even caught the very own wonderful scent that is so familiarly uniquely yours ...

I guess if I were to dissect this gift I might wonder why of all the MANY songs I've heard you sing (you did sing nearly all of the time after all, ;-) ... that it's this one song that I have no memory of you ever singing in which you most distinctly have let your presence be knownn to me ... ?

However, with all my heart, I'm just glad to have been able to sing with you again at all ... and without a doubt I know for certain that your angelic self really WAS there during those deeply cherished moments ...

I LOVED it ... I  LOVE you ...

Thank You, Papamore ... I miss you so relentlessly much ... and although there are times when my very soul aches so deeply that I wonder if there will ever be relief from the grief we now fully own without you ... I above all (because you taught me) never question nor stop believing in the fact that I'm going to be there with you soon enough ... Alive Forever ... Together ...

But at least for now it seems, I have Extremely Important things yet to do, right where I'm at.

xoxoxoxo x a google to infinity

"The Song"

For PapAmore', Arend 'Odee' Lenderink

Sidenote ... if someone reading this just so happens to have some pull regarding the music selection at Covenant Life Church in Grand Haven, MI ... could we please sing this at least once - the more the better, each and every Sunday?

Friday, June 25, 2010

Happy Birthday Papa

Thanks for the amazing gift of "loving me like that" ... which is by far one of the very best gifts I'll ever receive ... I love you, Dad ... always and forever ... xoxoxoxo

For PapAmore', Arend 'Odee' Lenderink

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Souls that have been Soaked in Tears

My Papa (along with my Mom - we read this all together, with my girls, on our "peeks of Lake Michigan views" front porch) gave me this awesome devotional shortly before he died called "Come Away My Beloved" by Frances J. Roberts.

The following is taken from it ... I'm actually transcribing the following (so you know I REALLY want to share it, ;) from excerpts of the chapter called Hold Fast.

I think it might speak to some of you, it has to me ... xoxoxo

Hold fast that which you have, and let no one take your crown.
Let no one hinder you in pursuit of the reward.
Let nothing stand in the way of your complete victory.
Let no weariness or discouraging thought cause you to loosen the rope of faith, but bind it tighter and anchor fast to My Word.

My Word can never fail, yes, and I will fulfill all My good promises. Have I not said, "He who seeks finds" (Matthew 7:8)? And have I not promised to reward those who diligently seek Me (Hebrews 11:6)?

Not the dilatory seeker, but the diligent seeker. Not the one whose seeking is in reality only wishing, but the one who has grown so intent in his quest, so wholly absorbed, that he is unaware in his toiling of the sweat upon his brow.

Never stifle the cry in your heart. God put it there.

God puts no special premium on our being perennial spiritual Pollyannas.

His joy springs forth most abundantly in souls that have been soaked in tears.

Not the tears of self-pity -never- but the tears of devotion and longing for him.

Weep. But when you weep, weep in His arms.

Doubt if you must, but candidly tell Him your doubts.

You will be surprised how quickly they will melt away.

His love and His smile will dispel every doubt as silently and surely as sunshine removes frost.

You cannot look in His face and doubt at the same time!

For PapAmore', Arend 'Odee' Lenderink

Thursday, February 11, 2010

To Cherish

Thanks for so perfectly teaching and showing us the true meaning of this word ...

Main Entry: cher·ish
Pronunciation: \ˈcher-ish, ˈche-rish\
Function: transitive verb
Etymology: Middle English cherisshen, from Anglo-French cheriss-, stem of cherir to cherish, from cher dear, from Latin carus — more at charity
Date: 14th century
1 a : to hold dear : feel or show affection for ed her friends> b : to keep or cultivate with care and affection : nurture es his marriage>

2 : to entertain or harbor in the mind deeply and resolutely es that memory>
synonyms see appreciate
cher·ish·able \-i-shə-bəl\ adjective
cher·ish·er \-i-shər\ noun

Love has many different definitions, and we all love in different ways. However, think about some of these terms, and see how they fit your relationship.
  • Adore
  • Respect
  • Admire
  • Show affection
  • Show devotion
  • Find irresistible
  • Unselfishness
  • Loyalty
  • Care
  • Passion
  • Tenderness
Do we really honor each other? To some extent, most couples do, but how much more could we honor our spouses if we really think about what this term means?
  • Respect
  • Admiration
  • Integrity
  • Deference
  • To treat honorably
  • To fulfill terms of an agreement (vows)
To cherish someone is to love and honor them as much if not more than you love yourself. It is the most meaningful of the terms, in my opinion. People can love each other, or care for each other, without cherishing one another. If we truly cherish each other, how can we have anything but happy and lasting marriages?
  • To keep first in one's mind
  • To treasure another
  • To value deeply
  • To hold dear
  • To prize above all else
  • To treat with gentleness and tender care
  • To esteem
  • To appreciate
  • To treat with utmost importance

For PapAmore', Arend 'Odee' Lenderink

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Papa's First Birthday in Heaven

 On January 11th, 2010 ...

"I love you, Papa!" 
My precious Anna screamed ... as she released her Sky Lantern towards Heaven, towards our PapAmore'



For PapAmore', Arend 'Odee' Lenderink