Fixing a broken heart is not a DIY job

Healing a Broken Heart – Is there hope?

Is there hope for healing a broken heart? Something or someone has just broken your heart. You were caught off-guard by a betrayal, a shocking behavior, or loss of a loved one. Suddenly you are feeling like you’ve lost all hope . . . you can feel a physical aching in your chest that leaves you wounded and scarred. How can you ever hope to recover or discover what steps will end this suffering?

We all know that emotions are a vital part of the way we are made. Yet we can’t understand why it takes so long to heal from emotional injuries. We would never prematurely remove a cast or sutures until the broken bone or skin was fully restored. We must realize complete emotional healing requires time. The book of Psalms offers great comfort when experiencing long-term emotions like sadness, fear, and grief. 


“He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3).

Are some circumstances beyond healing? What about these situations:

• In the beginning, Dawn and Leo’s marriage seemed so secure. Then alcohol and Leo’s advances towards his sister-in-law, Lori, resulted in a bitter divorce.
• Louise wept uncontrollably as her daughter recounted her molestation as a child.
• After Dave and Yvonne’s second miscarriage, they severed all relationships that reminded them of their two lost sons.

Healing a Broken Heart – The key is trust
Our human tendency is to avoid painful situations, even burying them. Can we ever trust those who hurt us so deeply? There are steps to healing a broken heart.

• Release – “. . . First forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against . . .” (Mark 11:25). Lori chose to let go of past hurts. Years later her nephew (Dawn and Leo’s son) was married. Lori recalls, “My bad experience had driven a wedge between two families. Miraculously, when I forgave Leo, the wedding brought everyone together and healthy relationships were created.”
  
  
• Refocus – “. . . By [God’s] mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope” (Ephesians 3:20). Initially, Louise punished herself for not being more protective. She tried to keep her broken heart hidden from everyone. She shares, “Guilt and shame clouded my perspective. As our daughter and I openly discussed the incident, we helped other victims and now readily see positive results in their lives.”
  
  
• Receive – “[God] comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us” (2 Corinthians 1:4). Last year, Yvonne gave birth to a handsome baby boy. “We may never understand the reason we had to endure such heartbreak. Gradually, the emptiness is now being filled with Daniel’s toddler antics.” David and Yvonne will receive their nursing degrees this year. “We want to help others through hard times.”

Healing a Broken Heart – There is a reason
Once there was a young man who proclaimed to have the most beautiful, flawless heart. An old man challenged him. The crowd looked at the old man’s heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars. Some pieces had been removed and others had been put in, but didn’t fit quite right. The old man looked at the young man, “I would never trade my heart for yours. Every scar represents a person I’ve given my love -- I tear out a piece and give it to them. Sometimes they give me a piece of their broken heart, which I fit along jagged edges. When the person doesn’t return my love, a painful gouge is left. Those gouges stay open, reminding me that I love these people too. Perhaps someday they will return and fill that space.”

We would never choose to have a broken heart! The agony and recovery time is just too unbearable. 


There is Someone, however, who had a flawless heart and chose to have it broken. Medically when a heart ruptures (breaks) water gushes out (John 19:33-34). In every way, Jesus experienced a broken heart. He understands betrayal, temptation, and loss (Isaiah 53:3; Luke 22:33-34; Matthew 14:10-13). 


He is our Comforter, Counselor, and Companion who fills our heart’s empty spaces.



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http://peace4missing.ning.com
http://papamore.blogspot.com

I Am Grieving - Please Handle with Care!

Help With GRIEF “Grief is being here when in your heart, mind and soul you’d rather be there.” Paul Alexander One is only able to navigate the grief journey by acknowleding and honoring what is true to your story of loss. Sometimes the oceans of grief flow gently and other times they are rough and harsh. The ebb and flow will surely be there as the natural order of the grief progresses, waxes and wanes. Don’t rush the ocean and as best you can ride with the waves and curl in a ball when they threathen to overpower you. You can choose how you will face the tide. Befriend your grief by giving yourself permission, time, space and supports to adjust to this new world. There is not a right or wrong way to grieve. But there are ways to honor your individual pulse and rhythm. Elisabeth Kubler Ross, a pioneer in the field of death and dying, spoke of the stages of dying which also transferred early on to the literature of bereavement. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance became useful map points for the dying and grief process.The down side of looking at phases and stages is that one may judge oneself for not moving to the finish line. Grief is more like a hodge podge of moments than a race through to the finish line. We hear the questions in our hearts and in our minds as we engage in the difficult questions of "How do I get through today? What will trigger off my emotions? How do I sleep alone? How do I drive by the hospital where she died or go to church where the funeral was held? How can I possibly go shopping?" There are many faces of grief .Grief is extremely personal and in many ways grieving requires one to be active to move forward and to a new normal.It's different than recovering from an illness. It doesn’t just get better in time ,although time continues to challenge us in facing the realities of our present circumstances and life attitude. Grieving is not passive although at times we feel done unto. Grief certainly makes us different than we were before the loss. Our personalities endure and reformulate to integrate and make sense of life without a significant living connection. We may look the same but the inner workings and rewiring of our heart strings and temperament need time and processing. I think we need more clothing or hats to wear when we are in facing the fires of grief....or perhaps wear a grief cast or sign that says: "Please Handle with Care!" My heart is hurting and my mind is working overtime to make sense of it all. Will someone listen long enough and not think I’m crazy or smile at me or pat my hand with a sympathic puppy dog look? I want you to know I’m in different terrain now. In an attempt to understand the grief process on a universal scale it is sometimes tempting to get locked into the phases and stages syndrome of grief.It perhaps helps us feel in control or understand better what seems a roller coaster of emotions and other responses. It is important to remember not to pigeon hole yourself or those you love or support into a model of orderly progression that leads to a certificate of completion. Grief can be unpredictable and how I grieve may look different than how you are grieving... You were there and now you are here. Breathe deeply, rest often, nurture every aspect of your being and honor the life and love you have experienced through action, reminiscence and creative expression.