Talking with your doctor about your end-of-life wishes

The miserable have no other medicine; But only hope. --William Shakespeare

How to Talk with Your Healthcare Providers

• Ask your doctor to explain treatments and procedures that may seem confusing before you complete your directives.
• Talk about pain management options.
• Let your doctor know that you are completing your advance directives.
• Make sure your doctor is willing to follow your directives. The law does not force physicians to follow directives if they disagree with your wishes for moral or ethical reasons.
• What will you do if I have a lot of pain or other uncomfortable symptoms?
• How will you help us find excellent professionals with special training when we need them
• Will you let me know if treatment stops working so that my family and I can make appropriate decisions?
• Will you still be available to me even when I am close to the end of my life?

Advocating for your loved one. 

• Be assertive in expressing your wishes. 
• Clearly state the reasons behind your requests without being hostile.
• Ask questions. To be effective and to make informed decisions, learn as much as possible about your loved one's condition and prognosis.
• Ask about the goals of the treatment plan - often. A physician's definition of recovery can be different from what is acceptable to you or your loved one. Seek the assistance of a social worker or patient representative if necessary. Such professionals can help improve communication between you and the physician.
• Don't be afraid to speak to the facility's administration. If the physician is unresponsive, go directly to his or her superiors, including the chief of medicine, risk manager, hospital lawyer or administrator.