"Do you know what I do sometimes at night, Mama?"
My precious little 7 year old, with her incredibly big, wise eyes asks me...
"I write I LOVE YOU PAPA on an envelope, put my whole heart into it and then I put it under my pillow before I go to sleep. And then, Mama! It helps me dream about him!"
I look at my little girl in awe, for this was actually a REALLY good idea!
"Would you like to share something about your dreams of Papa with me?" I ask her, hoping she will... "I'd love to hear about them!"
Little wise one, ie. Anna Grace answers... "Well, Mama...most of the dreams we have, we don't remember, so I can't tell you all of them, since I forget...but, I do remember this...that we have so much fun together! And that sometimes I am scared, even mad sometimes, but right before my dream ends...it always ends the same...Papa pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around me...and I feel so safe, because I am safe and he says it's going to be okay."
And then she shares something with me that I think most people much older than her, including her Mama sometimes, are still trying to figure out...
"Mama, sometimes I'm afraid to love people again, because maybe if I really love them too much, like I loved and love my Papa, they might go away."
I search my mind for this wise and comforting response for my little angel, desperate to relieve any amount of pain in her tiny, pure heart...but, before I am able to respond, she answers her own question aloud.
"But, it's okay, I can...love people again...I want to...because then I'll have other safe laps to sit on too, Mama."
"Like, God's lap, Anna." I say...
"Yup" she says, moving on now, done with the conversation... "Papa already told me that, Mama."
Wow...love my child...wanted to share the "Anna Wisdom" with all of you too... ;)
Our Papa, Arend "Odee" Lenderink
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