What do you do, When they tell you to give up?

No, this isn't your personal story, it's not your own heart's passion, you most likely haven't a clue who I am, let alone who my Dad is...so why should you care? Why should you pause to hear my cry for help, why should you feel the passion we now live for, why should you care?

I recognize that...to some extent I understand...that's my struggle here...that is the pause behind each letter I here now type.

How can I help you feel our pain? What can I say to help you see? Who should I most concentrate reaching out to? Where should the majority of these efforts be directed?

There's a story to be told, this story may not be your own, but this story will touch you, it will make you a better you, if you listen. 

Will you listen? Will you pause? Will your own heart feel the passion? Will your own voice, join mine?

I have this amazing Dad, he's not just my whole world, he's also the universe of so many others. So many others, to whom he so unselfishly reached out to, so many lives that he never thought twice about blessing with his own.

My Dad is a humble man, his actions have never been for his own benefit. He just does, doesn't overanalyze why he performs "good samaritan" acts. It literally is just a part of him, he doesn't know of any other way...to live.

He is my pride, he is my hero, my teacher, my mentor, my light...always pointing towards the things that matter most, in the most natural, easiest to follow manner.

If I have any good in me, he put it there. If I am ever able to positively touch another, it is only because he's shown me how.

My Dad has AML, Leukemia...and it won't go away. And now these new leaders of him, the ones who seemingly have held his life ever since this ugly devil of a disease crept into it, they can't do anything more to make him better. Medically speaking, we're supposed to give up.

How do you that? Just give up?

How do you give up on someone who from all outward appearances is healthy and strong? How do you accept the ending for someone who eagerly anticipates so much more life? How do you close an unfinished story, how do you snuff out an eternal flame?

You don't, you can't...and that...well, maybe...that...is it.

You don't, you can't, we can't...we fall to the ground, we're helpless, we're lost, we have no other choice, we're violently struck with the truth that the one we thought we could save has seen all along.

Only HE can, only God, no mankind, no human, no science, no notion, no earthly efforts all on their own...just Him, only God. And He has been there all along, He's been waiting for everyone else to notice Him. Patiently, strongly, quietly waiting...to embrace us, to respond to our fervent cries...forever and always, He's been there.

Waiting for the light to come on, the "in your face" recognition that only one can work Miracles, only Him.  

And He, this miracle worker, our God, the only true light, he whispers in this darkness, to share...to tell the story of the man He made, to share my gift here on earth, my Dad, with others walking this rough, heart wrenching, fallen land.

This Dad I have, this amazing man, our Papa...his story...it needs to be shared.

Will you help us share his story?

Please join my one small voice, together we are stronger, together we will be heard.

Will you?

Oh mein Papa

Please God, Leave Our Papa Alone

Honestly, God...if You're thinking that it's time to bring him Home, I'm sorry, God...I know I shouldn't even think this, let alone express it publicly, but...You're wrong, God, You may have made a mistake...

Granted, I can understand why you'd want him, full time up there, and try as I might, I of course can't blame you for feeling that way.  We all feel that way about him here too...why grown adults literally fight over who gets to spend the most time with him, which is really a kind of ugly thing to witness, but anyway...I regress...

Seriously though, God.  Take a look around up there.  There's really good stuff there already, right?  And a lot of them too, I would easily guess, bet they might keep you pretty busy, huh? Are sure you really want another one so soon?  Just, think about it, God...it's okay to "change" Your mind.

Isn't Moses, Noah, Abraham, George, C.S. Lewis, Pope John Paul, Mother Theresa, Mary (as in Your Mom) and Joseph, Esther, Ruth, Boaz...you get my point, right God?  The list could go on and on and on...think about it, God.  

You've already got most of the good people up there already, but here on earth...looking around...quite often...we've only got one, God.  Do you really think it's a good idea to take our ONE away?

Lord, I know You'll make the right decision, after all, You are GOD...

In the meantime, God...we'll be praying, hopefully anticipating that amazing miracle that only You can provide.

A Cry for Help Worth Answering

My Dad, Arend "Odee" Lenderink, has AML Leukemia.

He was initially treated with the "traditional" chemo, yet "it" quite quickly came back, next they tried the mylotarg, however again, "it" came back...so now his physician says that's it, there's nothing else, medically speaking, that they are able to do for him...

But, he's so healthy looking, he looks and feels great, he doesn't want to leave us yet, he truly feels that there's still more left on earth that God intends for him to do...and we need him here yet too, we really, really do...

I beg of you all with all my heart...

Please...

If you know of anyone, or anything, please say so here...

We need you all...

Please...

From My "Has Known Him the Longest" Sister, Denise Lenderink VanderWal

Sara, your poem is beautiful.

We all have experienced and continue to experience that wonderful unconditional love. What an earthly example of Christ dad is and has been. Even through all the difficult times in his life dad has always been faithful. I can't even imagine life without him as I know you can't either.

I too am praying for a miracle, a total cure. Not from medicine, not from doctors, not from chemo but by a totally unexplainable source...no explanation...only a miracle, only God, who will be given ALL the glory and ALL the honor and ALL the praise.

At the same time we need to cherish every moment we have together with our truly remarkable dad and thank God for every single moment we have already had. I feel so honored to be picked by God to be his daughter, me biologically and you through another miracle. Isn't God amazing and good?

He took something you hated and turned it into something so beautiful. He made us a family. Two totally different families in two entirely different states, clear across the country from each other and wove us together to be a new family.

If dad had not married your mom your children would have never had a grandpa. It just amazes me how God worked that all out. It is wonderful to have each other through this very difficult time and even though we aren't living close to each other we all have one common prayer....please heal our dad and grandpa. We all love him so much!

When your mom had cancer I remember thinking how cruel that dad found such a wonderful woman and they love each other so much and he is so happy and now what if God takes her!

It is so wonderful that they got through that and now I can only pray that they will again get through with another miracle.

What ever happens, how ever God chooses to answer our prayers, the biggest thing we need to do is TRUST! We serve a good and loving God and He only wants the BEST for us. We need to trust and believe that because that is how dad has lived his life. We need to follow that example.

Never give up, never stop trusting and always continue to believe GOD IS IN CONTROL!

I love you Sara, love Denise

Mama, Do you Think I didn't Pray Loud Enough?

Papa's little "pizon" asked me, as tears rolled down her dimpled cheeks...

"Because, I was thinking...you know, Mama, God has a lot going on, so I understand if maybe I need to remind Him louder, you know, about how my Daddy doesn't live with us anymore and how I really, really, really need my Papa around."

So she's praying REALLY loud now...she also made a "logo" for her "Keep Papa" Team.

Yes, she is somewhat a little me, but most importantly, she is her Papa's little mustard seed.

That's PapAmore

You and that stink-bomb song...how you would embarrass me! 

(and how very much I loved it when you did)

One thing is FOR SURE, Papa...Dean Martin ain't got nothin' on you.

Without fail, at the peak of my sulkiest, most crabby of all moments...a "miracle worker" tune would suddenly burst forth into the room.  

And my epitome of Dutch father would magically transform into an Italian Godfather dancing around the room and singing with much GUSTO...

When the Moon hits your eye, like a big pizza sky...

That's Amore...

And without fail, as I'd roll my eyes, then I'd smile, get the giggles and lastly, of course, join in...

For as you say, That's Amore, performs much better as a Duet.

PapAmore, you always know just what to do...

Thank You

I'm Not Giving Up On You

When I was young, at the peak of awkward, flubbing through my pre-pubescent, "only a Mother could love" days...I met you.

And, I imagine that...

I wasn't that much to look at

Surely I wasn't that interesting to be around

Definitely I couldn't have been uplifting to listen to

Basically, Me

When I met You 

Was all Around

Most of all

Quite determined 

To clearly be

 

Not in the least bit nice

Specifically

To you...

I didn't want you to love me

didn't want you to care

wanted you to leave me

really didn't want you anywhere

that I was

at all

And You

Stubborn You

You Loved Me Still

You Loved My Ugly

Loved My Hate

Loved Me Silly

No Matter What

You always told me

Even then

I'll never leave you

No matter what

"I'm not Giving Up on You."

And so...

Just so you know...

I heard you then, I hear you now...

I listened and I learned

Learned what real love was

Learned what was true

Learned to endure

To believe

To be true

Learned what to fight for

Learned when to give in

All this

And more

I learned

From You

And now

This moment

This time

This now

Because you taught me well

I boldly stand

I have no doubt

I know now what to do

I hear God's voice

I feel His Peace

I gratefully answer His call

And that is why

I shout out loud

I'M NOT GIVING UP ON YOU!

It's not over

Your story is not done

There's more left to be told

Our God of Miracles

Is not Impressed

By lazy sloths on the ground

If we're to witness

The end result

Of our brazen prayers

Then we must all

Join hands

Unite

Show Him

That we Care

That we will actively

Hold God's hand

Not stand idly by

We will do

What can be done

We will follow

Our God's lead

We'll join his triumphant shout

When we stand

And actively show that

WE AREN'T GIVING UP ON YOU!

Any Man can be a Father...

...but, to find a Dad, that's a rare treasure indeed...

I didn't write this poem below, it's obviously not my story, but change a few simple facts and it could be, for that's what you are to me, a Dad.

A simple dry-wall man
© By Lachell A. Hocker

(I wrote this poem about my step dad..)

I fell in love with a man

When I was only four years old
He was tall with big blue eyes
And he was strong enough to hold
me when I cried.
He loved my mom
He loved me
And together we'd make a family.

The teenage years were so hard
I know at times I broke his heart
But God's love shown
Through Dad's strong will
And he stood by me even still.

He taught me how to love and care
He gave me hugs when I was scared
And I thank God for each day
My Dad's been there.

It takes a special kind of man
One that fits Gods' perfect plan
To be a Dad
And to give the life we've had.

He was just a simple drywall man
Trying to get by
But little did he know
God had a plan for his life.

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father.
- Pope John XXIII

The Greatest Man That Ever Lived...I Know

Precious Papa, You are our PapAmore