Saturday, January 3, 2009

What do you do, When they tell you to give up?


No, this isn't your personal story, it's not your own heart's passion, you most likely haven't a clue who I am, let alone who my Dad is...so why should you care? Why should you pause to hear my cry for help, why should you feel the passion we now live for, why should you care?

I recognize that...to some extent I understand...that's my struggle here...that is the pause behind each letter I here now type.

How can I help you feel our pain? What can I say to help you see? Who should I most concentrate reaching out to? Where should the majority of these efforts be directed?

There's a story to be told, this story may not be your own, but this story will touch you, it will make you a better you, if you listen. 

Will you listen? Will you pause? Will your own heart feel the passion? Will your own voice, join mine?

I have this amazing Dad, he's not just my whole world, he's also the universe of so many others. So many others, to whom he so unselfishly reached out to, so many lives that he never thought twice about blessing with his own.

My Dad is a humble man, his actions have never been for his own benefit. He just does, doesn't overanalyze why he performs "good samaritan" acts. It literally is just a part of him, he doesn't know of any other way...to live.

He is my pride, he is my hero, my teacher, my mentor, my light...always pointing towards the things that matter most, in the most natural, easiest to follow manner.

If I have any good in me, he put it there. If I am ever able to positively touch another, it is only because he's shown me how.

My Dad has AML, Leukemia...and it won't go away. And now these new leaders of him, the ones who seemingly have held his life ever since this ugly devil of a disease crept into it, they can't do anything more to make him better. Medically speaking, we're supposed to give up.

How do you that? Just give up?

How do you give up on someone who from all outward appearances is healthy and strong? How do you accept the ending for someone who eagerly anticipates so much more life? How do you close an unfinished story, how do you snuff out an eternal flame?

You don't, you can't...and that...well, maybe...that...is it.

You don't, you can't, we can't...we fall to the ground, we're helpless, we're lost, we have no other choice, we're violently struck with the truth that the one we thought we could save has seen all along.

Only HE can, only God, no mankind, no human, no science, no notion, no earthly efforts all on their own...just Him, only God. And He has been there all along, He's been waiting for everyone else to notice Him. Patiently, strongly, quietly waiting...to embrace us, to respond to our fervent cries...forever and always, He's been there.

Waiting for the light to come on, the "in your face" recognition that only one can work Miracles, only Him.  

And He, this miracle worker, our God, the only true light, he whispers in this darkness, to share...to tell the story of the man He made, to share my gift here on earth, my Dad, with others walking this rough, heart wrenching, fallen land.

This Dad I have, this amazing man, our Papa...his story...it needs to be shared.

Will you help us share his story?

Please join my one small voice, together we are stronger, together we will be heard.

Will you?


4 comments:

Unknown said...

Please don't be hesitant to post in fear of upsetting me, I am okay, I feel God's peace, if my Dad were to die tonight, I would not have any lingering regrets. He knows my heart and I know his, he's already given me all the skills and more that I need to face anything ahead and he'll always be with me...I don't doubt that for a moment.

This here now, why I now write, is much less about my pain, and much more about my overwhelmingly overflowing heart that has been so blessed by him. I wish you all could meet him in real life, he is truly that amazing.

The greatest thing that I could give to all of you, would be to share him with you, as much as I'm able.

I choose to honor him while he is here, I want him to know how essential, incredible and cherished he is, right now...I choose to share, my greatest blessing with all of you...

Unknown said...

10 Comments
Comment by Maureen 2 hours ago
Delete Comment Maggie,

We hear your pain, we hear your fear of helplessness. We are honored that you are sharing this with us that takes courage and trust. I think it's a good thing you can blog your feelings and that you are not sugar coating them. If there is something specific you would like us to do for your Dad or for you or your family, please let us know.

Maureen
Comment by Jim Harnage 2 hours ago
Delete Comment Maggie;
We will join you in one voice in sharing your dad's story. I have more words for you but right now we supportingly embrace you in the Lord and in faith that god is still god regardless.
Old Testament Job said Though he slay I will still trust him. these are not words any of us want to hear in this hour of news and tidings from people who seem to know more about us and our bodies than we do. It feels like strangers are intruding into the lives and bodies of our loved ones when they tell us things we don't want to hear. We feel violated. We don't even wish to hear encouragement. We mjust them to be well. We want everything to be right, to be normal, to go back like it was. Oh, what we would be willing to pay if only we could go back. What would we give? What are we willing to do? How many thoughts, and how thoughts not-like-us do we have in the midst of this mental and spiritual struggle. We bargian. We bargain with God and with ourselves. We want to blame someone or something. It is easier to do so than to say things are just not right. It is ok to say that it is the way it is and still be faithful to god's ability without blaming God. Anger is appropriate, too if it comes. I have no right whatsoever to say to you to accept God's will whatever it is. He is God no matter what I say and no matter what we feel. God is still God if Carolyn suddenly goes out to meet God tonight or if I do. Whether i am healed or not God is still god and that very fact, that he is still god means that He will be there with us no matter what.
As we stand beside the bed of our loved ones, hold their hand, and place them in the arms of God, or if we shoot some hoops with them on the court all the time knowing that they are losing life one day at a time, God is holding thier hand and ours. God shows us ways to be alive through them and keeps them alive through us.
I wish i could brush all pain aside. I wish i could answer all questions with the answers you desire to hear and god only knows if that is possible and not me. But one thing I can do, I can pray for your dad, for god to heal him, for god to allow him to finsih His purpose in him regardless if it takes today or the next twenty years.
It's not about deserving it. God's grace isn't deserved and that works in the reverse too. We can't deserve to right to aother 20 or thirty years just because we're good people no more than can we deserve the right to be saved just becasue we are very good people. We are saved by grace. We are kept by grace. We live by grace. We walk in grace by faith. We live grace and we die by grace. Nothing deserving anything only god's grace. I don't know if this makes any sense for now but i hope i have obeyed God and I hope it came out like it was menat. We love you very much.
Jim
Comment by UNSOLVED HOMICIDES AND MISSING ADULTS 2 hours ago
Delete Comment THEY TOLD MY FATHER THAT TOO, HE HAD 4 MONTHS TO LIVE WHEN HE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH HIS OATCELL LUNG CANCER. MAGGIE HE LIVED ANOTHER YEAR AFTER THAT. NO ONE CAN SAY WHEN WE ARE TO GO, DOCTORS CAN ONLY GIVE YOU AN EDUCATED GUESS MADE FROM TEXT BOOKS THEY CAN NOT GIVE YOU A SPIRITUAL DIAGNOSIS. HUMAN WILL IS STRONG AND FAITH IS THE STRONGEST MEDICINE.
Comment by Lisa Seltenreich 2 hours ago
Delete Comment I love you Maggie, but not nearly as much as God loves you. Feel my arms around you hugging you. I have felt yours!
Comment by Maggie's Rose 1 hour ago
Delete Comment Thank You all for allowing me to share and for caring, it is very healing for me to be able to do so in such a warm, compassionate environment. I cherish you all, immensely...xooxoxox

Please don't be hesitant to post in fear of upsetting me, I am okay, I feel God's peace, if my Dad were to die tonight, I would not have any lingering regrets. He knows my heart and I know his, he's already given me all the skills and more that I need to face anything ahead and he'll always be with me...I don't doubt that for a moment.

This here now, why I now write, is much less about my pain, and much more about my overwhelmingly overflowing heart that has been so blessed by him. I wish you all could meet him in real life, he is truly that amazing.

The greatest thing that I could give to all of you, would be to share him with you, as much as I'm able.

I choose to honor him while he is here, I want him to know how essential, incredible and cherished he is, right now...I choose to share, my greatest blessing with all of you...
Comment by Patti Bishop 15 minutes ago
Delete Comment A favorite quote of mine that I would like to share with you my dear Friend and Bud.

"When everyone else tells you to give up,
HOPE whispers, try again".

We never give up our Hope and in your Dad's case there are other avenues you can try, The Cancer Treatment Hotline is one I would recommend, they helped me many years ago with my Mother and helped in choosing further treatments.

I am wrapping my arms around you with a huge Hug and praying that God sends the physicians your Father needs.
Comment by Maggie's Rose 13 minutes ago
Delete Comment thank you, Bud...immensely and always...

Today, God gave me hope through you...xoxoxoxo
Comment by Amy Matthews 10 minutes ago
Delete Comment Maggie sweetheart I sincerely feel the pain you feel I wish there was a way to stop time. You are giving your dad the best gift a child can give a parent and I know he is so proud of the women you have become. When his time comes he will know that he will live on through you not just in your heart, but through your actions and generous heart. He is proud of you. My love to you and your father and the family. ~ Hugs~ Amy
Comment by Maggie's Rose 5 minutes ago
Delete Comment Oh that makes me cry, as my Anna says "happy tears" thank-you...xoxoxoo
Comment by Maggie's Rose 1 minute ago
Delete Comment Jim, that's beautiful, totally makes sense, my Anna's middle name is Grace for that very reason, thanks so much for sharing, I am so blessed to be on the receiving end of your Christlike wisdom...

Thank You all for the hugs, the hope, the compassion, so grateful...

Unknown said...

15 Comments
Comment by Carol 11 hours ago
Delete Comment Maggie you are giving your father the greatest gift - you are giving him the opportunity to know exactly how you feel now-while he's still here. You have a gift that so many of us lose as we grow older-you are able to speak from the heart. That in itself is a tribute to what wonderful parents you must have.
Comment by Cherry Simpson 6 hours ago
Delete Comment Dearest Maggie,

No matters what happens. He's your Papa forever. God gave him to you in a special way and for a special purpose. Because of him you have a better understanding of your heavenly Father and His love for you.

I remember when I was small my Pastor asked me what I thought Heaven would be like. I told him I didn't know but I thought it would be like when my Pa would tell me to go get my coat caise he was taking me to the fair. I didn't need to know what kind of rides I go on or what kind of treats I'd get. I only knew my Pa was taking me and I was going to have the best time, the time of my life, with my Pa. That's what Heaven will be like. Me and my Pa forever happy.

My Pa died quickly within a week of his surgery. The hospital may have been somewhat to blame. When it was happening I didn't want to believe it. I was mad at the hospital. I tried getting him moved. But in the end God took him home to be with Him. Then I knew it was done.

The morning of my Pa's wake I turned on TV and there was Steve Irwin's wife (The Crockodile Hunter) a reporter was asking he how she was coping with 2 small children and the loss of their father. She said in her chipper australian accent, "Oh Steve's with us, everyday we pop in a Daddy video, you know we have thousands of Daddy videos, and we start the day off that way."

I thought that was a wonderful idea. So I surrounded myself with photos of my Pa. Especially me and my Pa. I tried to remember every good time, every act of kindness, every heroic effort he had ever done. It all helped me very much. I still do it.

Maggie remember the audio of my Pa you listened to. I actually did a long interview with him about his whole life and taped it. I broke up the questions and had asked him in a few different sittings. I did this a few years before he died. It's a great comfort to us all now. We can still hear his voice and see his face.

You should do that for your Papa. Then make a CD or DVD. You'll be glad you did. You'll find things out you never knew. He'll make you smile and he'll make you cry. But best of all he'll fill your heart to everflowing with love and respect for him.

No one but God picks the time and palce someone is taken home. But really if you have some warning you can try to make the best use of that time. So many of us are so busy in life that we don't see the opportunites God puts in our path or even understand why.

Remember the 4th commandment, "Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth." Eph. 6:2,3.

I always loved that one. I heard it told to me enough time growing up and now I say it to my children and grandkids. But the promise is the part I love so much. A promise for me and for you.

God Bless you Maggie, all these trials are meant for our good. Look for the joy in them. Have "Fearless Faith" and you'll be a part of God's miracle.

Your Heavenly Father knows how much you love your Papa. He loves him and you even more.

God bless you for all you do for your Papa.
Comment by Seeker 5 hours ago
Delete Comment Sweet Maggie, you can't give up on your Dad anymore than I gave up on my mom. We are all hopeful or we would not be here.

Please keep praying. By Faith the ancients were considered righteous. You are an inspiration devoted and dedicated person. Your story deserves to be told, and yes it is heartbreaking, but the truth is God is still in the miracle business. You have given so much to all of us. Let us uphold you & your family in our prayers.

Hug & share with your dad everyday...make the days count!
Comment by Tonya Cavender 2 hours ago
Delete Comment If I had a answer to your question why ,I cant. I would love to know why did my Travis get taken away from us.We had no notice he just vanished in broad day light.

Now we are waitting to see minute by minute if a handful of remains are my Travis.

Grief and breavement for the missing I know is very differant than what you have to face.
Personally ,If we would have know Travis was going to be leaving us ,I would hope we could celebrate his life prior to loosing him.

A wise person called me this week and maybe it will help you pray for Strenght with that you can face the minute by minute waitting that is eatting us alive .
So maybe if you can just Pray for strenght the rest will come. God Bless,,,,,,Tonya
Comment by Milkman 1 hour ago
Delete Comment You are such a strong and determined woman. Your father must be so proud of you.

At some point medical science has to give up. But the fire of hope inside you should never give up. Life is truly and always worth fighting for.

Your father and your fight will be in our thoughts and prayers.

Unknown said...

Comment by Carlene 5 hours ago
Delete Comment It was late one evening last spring when my brother called and said, "If you want to see dad, it has to be soon." I asked, "How soon?" He replied, "Yesterday, soon...."

He had been suffering through lung cancer since the beginning of the year and the doctor's decided it was time for him to die.

The family met with mom's priest at the hospital. They encircled dad, holding hands, eyes closed, and prayed together not for a miracle but for God not to take him just yet. Mom wasn't ready. She couldn't handle the loss yet. She wasn't prepared.

They prayed with "confidence" that it was not yet time for him to go and felt joy in their prayers afterwards.

They knew that the devil laughs hysterically at people that are filled with fear of the unknown, of being left alone, of despair.

But the devil did not get the upperhand on my mom and siblings that night, because I sat at the table with my father this Christmas and watched him eat a giant chocolate chip cookie with us.

There is no expiration date printed on our foreheads.

We must take joy in each second of each minute of each hour, in every day that we DO have, not only with the loved ones that have limited-unknown time, but with the healthy ones that grab at our knees and pull our hair and hold our hands.

There is a treasure in the joy of life and those around us that we love and that love us, and all the new people that you are meeting that instantly love you and your dad.

I believe in celebrating life and not concentrating on death to come.

Pope John Paul needs one more miracle to be designated a saint!

I will pray for your dad, through Pope John Paul, and my other favorite saints like St. Faustina and St. Padre Pio.

Always Love, Carlene